Once upon a time, deep in the perilous backwoods of Bible-Belt Louisiana, there lived a gap-toothed, blonde waitress named Sookie Stackhouse. So begins True Blood, HBO's smash hit series of 3 seasons, based on the Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris.
Sookie is just your average telepath living in the small town of Bon Temps when she meets Bill, who just happens to be (you guessed it) a vampire, and her new next door neighborhood. Sookie (Anna Paquin) is attracted to Bill (Stephen Moyer) not only for his undeadness, but because unlike the other men she's attempted to date, she cannot read his mind (and is therefore spared the inner monologue of his libido). The two strike up a relationship, despite the prejudice of the rest of the town towards vampires (who are publicly "out" in this series).
It isn't all fun and games, nor, as we find out, is Bill the only supernatural creature in the neighborhood. There's Sam, the loveable shapeshifter who owns what appears to be the only restaurant in town, Marianne, a psychopathic maenad of Ancient Greek origin, and multiple packs of werewolves that make their debut appearance in Season 3.
Throw in a supporting cast of quirky townspeople, and some gratuitous sex scenes, and voila! You've got the next big thing in the vampire craze!
VAMPIRE CANON
"Out of the Coffin"
One of the unique aspects to this vampire canon is that True Blood vamps are publicly "out of the coffin", that is, they have made their existence known to the human population. The mainstreaming of vampires into society becomes a social issue, and parallels (in a blatantly obvious way) the plight of other social equality movements (complete with your stereotypical, white southern Bible-thumping church leaders that audiences are meant to vilify... what a concept.).
TruBlood
As you might guess, social integration for vamps would be pretty difficult if they were constantly preying upon society. Cue TruBlood, the artificial blood substitute that comes in what looks like Sobe bottles. The "do-gooder" vampires of the world (read: Bill), happily consume TruBlood, but as we all know, sometimes there's just no substitute for the real thing...
Vampire Blood
Vampire blood plays a significant role in the series. It is a highly powerful, highly addictive drug when consumed by non-vampires (humans, werewolves, etc.). Think acid trip x 100. When consumed directly from the source, vampire blood causes blatant sexual attraction to the vampire-- with no regard whatsoever to gender or sexual orientation (fun, right?!). Vampires themselves also cry tears of blood, which just looks cool.
Vampire-y Powers
-Glamour: Essentially, mind control. As if the human race didn't have ENOUGH to worry about...
-Super Strength/Super Speed: Come standard on your new, shiny vampire. Special features (comes with certain vampires only) include flying.
-"Sire" Powers: There is also a significant connection between a sire and the vampire he/she creates. A sire of a vampire can summon and control his/her vampire spawn.
Destructibility Factor
-Sunlight: is LETHAL. We're talking burned to a crisp, "ashes, ashes we all fall down" lethal.
-Stakes: Also lethal. And very messy.
-Silver: Draining, and immobilizing.
WHAT WE LIKE
1. Lafayette is MADE OF WIN. Meet the most bad-ass, gangster, flaming, black male homosexual in all of HISTORY (we say this with the utmost reverence and respect. Seriously). This guy is awesome, and can make any scene instantly hilarious.
2. Jessica and Hoyt
Because they're just... so... CUTE! In an unfortunate turn of events, Bill is forced to turn teenage good girl Jessica, which begins the delightful subplot romance between her and sweet-hearted momma's boy, Hoyt.
3. Vampire Kingdoms
Another nifty side of True Blood comes from the hierarchical structure put in place. The vampire world is divided into "kingdoms," where every state is ruled by a king or queen. Under the king or queen are "sheriffs," who are responsible for specific areas within the kingdom. Sophie-Ann (Evan Rachel Wood), the Queen of Louisiana, is a particularly bad-ass favorite of ours.
4. Eric Northman
Speaking of sheriffs, we also love our Sheriff of Area 5, Eric Northman! We love snarky vampires who could be classified on any given day as either good or evil. Also, the fact that he is tall, blonde, Scandinavian, dyes his hair, and refers to children as "teacup humans" is another big reason behind our love. We also love Pam, his sadistically sarcastic fledgling counterpart.
5. Godric
We also love Godric, who plays a major part in Eric's back-story. Godric is an ancient vampire in the body of a teenager who is creepy and cool and just... plain awesome.
6. The Jason Stackhouse-Andy Bellefleur Duo
We love these characters joined force in Season 2/3, going from characters that individually annoyed us to a dynamic duo that defines the word hapless.
7. JAMES FRAIN JOINING THE CAST!!! yesssssh.
WHAT WE DON'T
1. ANNOYING MINOR CHARACTERS. We will tackle this in list form.
-Tara: Sookie's best friend. We alternately want to feel sorry for her for all the crap that is thrown her way, and smack her in the face for her regularly scheduled "angry black woman" tirades.
-Arlene: The hapless ginger waitress clearly needs to discover condoms.
-Marianne, the Maenad: Possibly the worst subplot in TV show history; rich, mysterious woman comes into town, people lose their minds, and the rest of the world needs brain bleach. STAT!
-Lorena: Bill's maker. In the words of Lafayette: "DIS HOOKA NEEDS TO BE STAKED, YO!"
-Tara's Mother. Oh dear god. The mommy issues. Jesus would be happy if this woman jumped off a cliff.
-Eggs: Hot and dumb. Also, whuddup with the name?
2. Fangs
We are (obviously) huge fans of fangs. We are not, however, fans of the weird, wood-choppy sound that we hear when they pop out of nowhere. Nor do we like that they're so close together. Altogether, they look cartoonish and weird.
3.Sheer amounts of weird ass gratuitous sex.
Award winning moments include:
-The multi-episode Marianne inspired group orgy
-The 180 degree Lorena head-twist in probably the most disturbing sex scene either of us has ever seen in our entire life. Literally. Sick and TWISTED.
4. Every single man in the series wants to get in Sookie's pants.
Seriously? You'd think the Texas-sized gap between her front teeth would be somewhat of a deterrent, but NO! Every SINGLE man in this series wants to get with Sookie. Honestly, we feel sorry for the poor child. We're seriously surprised there hasn't been some sick, incestuous subplot between her and Jason, THAT'S how bad it is.
If you can get past the sex, True Blood is altogether a pretty decent vampire show. We definitely enjoy it for the characters-- they're what really give life (ha) to this undead drama.
Fang Rating:
1/23 1/2 Fangs
No comments:
Post a Comment